I figure that people can do whatever they want in their lives. I think of it this way. I can act depressed...but, do I have to? No. I can act any way that I want. I find out that when I act a certain way, I begin to feel the way that I am acting. I acknowledge when I am feeling crummy, and I can go with it, or I can get on with my day. Being bummed out has kept me from doing a lot of things, but it is an obstacle that can be conquered over time. Doing meditation helps me with that endeavor. Through that process, I am detached from the heaviness of my mind and I am reminded of the lightness of being. It also reminds me of what I value, what I need, and where I am going. Finally, it reminds me to stay healthy and present in the moment.
I have not created this total healthy and harmonious life as of yet, but I can work towards getting there. Every day I take small steps to just living. It has become really cliché to talk about living in the present moment, I know. But, think about being whoever you want to be in any moment. I have a tendency to dredge up past bad experiences when I am facing an issue in a moment, and that lends to a general sense of despair. I realize though, that I can act any way that I want. There is no rule saying that I can't.
It seems like my mind tries to justify my actions, so, if I am feeling crummy and I would rather not feel this way, I will jump up and down or do something silly-whatever it takes. This is not about denying my feelings, or even being happy. This is about pushing through it, living my life, rather than checking out from the world for a whole winter, or neglecting my friends for months at a time.
How I fill my life with better actions and mindsets
It is about self love. bell hooks emphasizes that to love others is an action, and this applies to loving oneself. These actions start small and build on each other, like building blocks. There are the fundamental building blocks, this is building the body and the mind, and this affects your overall phenomenal field. Taking care of yourself, eating well, getting enough sleep, exercise, and avoiding toxins. These are the fundamentals, you build the rest of the steps of self love on this.
What results is that you become aware of who you are, your energy, your relationship with yourself, with others, with the world. It is about action, patience with the process, and trusting yourself and others.
Why is this such a big mystery? Many are never taught any of these things. Then they turn to all of those books and videos out there that offer some sort of "secret knowledge." These ad campaigns makes it look all esoteric and mysterious, and this is what generates money. I have come across information that is not true at all, in fact, it is harmful. For example, some books tell you to not do anything at all except imagine what you want to happen. Sometimes that works, but more often it doesn't. This information is unethical because it tells people that it is a universal law that you don't have to put any effort into making something happen. This media says that you just have to think about it and it will happen. In reality, you have to think about it to create a plan of action and then you have to take those steps to make things happen. You have to live your life. If you know what you want, and you take the steps, you'll make it happen. This reminds me of this culture's obsession with getting things with out putting any effort into it. We want it as easy as a two minute montage set to an upbeat 80s pop song.
When I get these crummy thoughts, I question my ego. I realize that this is only thoughts in my head, this is not representative of my external reality. I begin to wonder-what is real? Do I choose to waste my energy on negative thoughts? I want to live and love without the past pressing on my present moment.
I want to live this life, not where I feel that I have to retreat back into this cave, this alone place, but rather I want to see the beauty and value in the present moment, no matter where I am. In living. I do this by putting my life together to be, to exist. I would like to live and flow with the world, creative flow of living in the present moment and always doing the things that I want to do, and accepting the moments when I am not doing the things I want to be doing.
This is the work of attention. it is a process, not an event. People are always waiting for some event to happen, like enlightenment, then they think that their life is going to change after that, but it doesn't happen that way.
